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Posts Tagged ‘bread’

via thisiswhyyourefat.com via jasongraphix

A co-worker just alerted me to the website This Is Why You’re Fat. I don’t know why it never occurred to me to do that with a box of Oreos; I think the most I ever put together between two ends of a cookie were three lard centers.  That stuff is so delicious!

I have fairly healthy body image, so I’m not going to say I’m fat.  I’m not.  But if I were fat, here would be the most-likely reasons why:

  1. Pasta, particularly with butter (or I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, which I can believe is not butter but still love the taste of) and a lot a lot a lot of cheese.
  2. Baking, especially when it involves frosting. Or batter. Or dough.  Or anything edible.
  3. Bread. I cannot resist a good bread basket, equally a fan of olive oil and salt on top as butter, and I just love a cheese plate that allows me another opportunity to slather brie onto a thinly sliced baguette.
  4. Chipotle. There was a period of time in grad school, during the semester when I was teaching, that I ate a Chiptole fajita burrito multiple times a week.  I don’t know how I ever got myself to stop doing that.  Or why.
  5. Street meat.  Those of you not lucky enough to live in a city that serves up street meat on nearly ever corner, I pity you. I think in an ideal world, I would alternate between Chipotle and chicken-over-rice from the plaza near work for lunch every day, and I’d have pasta with bread and cheese for dinner.  Is that gross?  I’d also find the time to bake every single day.

As for the first item on my list, we all know how much I love pasta. I should do a better job of defending this much-maligned staple of my diet. It started with Atkins, which had a snowball effect of many more low-carb and even no-carb diets. Those diets are ridiculous, and here is why.

One summer during college, or perhaps right before college, I spent a month or so at home.  All I did, all day long, was sew and watch movies.  I would emerge from the basement a couple of times a day to have a big bowl of plain pasta with butter and cheese, and I would retire to bed as my parents were waking up, usually around 6 in the morning.  A few things happened: I made a lot of dresses, most of which I never wore (and I even made one for Croquette, which she probably never wore, either). My dad took back his credit card, which he’d given me to rent movies with, when he discovered I’d rented more than 100 movies in a few weeks’ time. I also lost 15 pounds.

It was the best diet ever.

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There was a stabbing over the weekend at a party in my sophomore-year dorm.

I never understood why UMass students would come all the way to Amherst for a party (unless they were invited, that is). I would imagine UMass threw many more — and better — parties than we did. And it’s kind of a hike, unless you drive, and we all know how I feel about that. (I suppose there could be a designated driver, but in my experience, those don’t really exist.)

Of course, I only went to one UMass party, with Julie, because her friends from high school were visiting someone there. It was a frat party. As I remember it, we stayed for about five minutes and then walked home, probably stopping at Bertucci’s on the way because that place makes the most amazing bread I’ve ever eaten, served straight out of the oven.

photo by Plaid Ninja

photo by Plaid Ninja

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So there was no ice-skating, but we did have a marvelous meal today at Bobby D’s Tribecca Grill for Restaurant Week.

Tribecca Grill

I had pumpkin soup, spinach ravioli and chocolate cheesecake. Chris had veal terrine, short ribs and pecan tart. It was all so delicious, and the bread basket was the best bread basket I’d ever had. Muffins, cornbread, regular bread and scones. We were full before our first course even arrived.

Earlier this week, we had dinner at Devi. Here is my fried quail: Quail

And here are Chris’s chops: chops

Here is the delicious meal described in a previous post that we made last night: our meal

With my dessert, which is sugar-free cheesecake pudding and “fresh” raspberries (out-of-season fruit is always so seductive and usually so disappointing):

puddin

I am sated.  We couldn’t even finish our dessert because of that blasted bread basket today!

Good night, dear blogosphere.

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